Love Hina Scrambled Strawberry Eggs!
by Bugsy
Summary: Keitaro is kicked out after a few days as the manager. The girls will only accept a woman for the job. What will he do?
1. Transformation

Love Hina – I, My, Oh Dear Me! Scrambled Strawberry Eggs  
  
Fanfic by Steven Biggs  
  
Chapter One – Transformation  
  
Sunday Night  
  
Keitaro, his backpack with his few possession packed inside next to him, speaks to his aunt while they sit in the Hinata Tea Shop. Earlier the girls, led by Motoko who had just returned from camp, confronted him about not being a Toudai student.  
  
"Motoko-chan and the others will never accept me as the manager. Especially now that they know I'm only in prep school."  
  
Haruka adjusts her cigarette holder.  
  
"Give them a little time. This is Granny Hina's inn, after all. You have more right to be the manager than anyone else, since she picked you."  
  
Keitaro shakes his head.  
  
"None of them thinks that a man can be a good manager for an all girl dorm. They won't even consider letting me try, now that Motoko-chan is here. Even Narusegawa sided with her. I thought, or rather hoped that she, at least, would try to keep helping me. They tossed my things out the door and told me to leave."  
  
Haruka thinks for a few moments.  
  
"Do you really want to prove them wrong?"  
  
"Yes. It shouldn't matter whether the manager is a man or a woman, as long as they can take care of the residents."  
  
"Okay, come with me."  
  
Taking a key out of her pocket, she leads the way into an old room in the back of the teashop. Keitaro looks around.  
  
"This looks like a movie star's dressing room. I never knew this was here."  
  
Haruka looks at him.  
  
"I can help you, but it will be dangerous."  
  
"What do you mean?"  
  
She rummages through an old chest as she speaks to him.  
  
"If they want a woman manager, then let's give them one. You."  
  
"But, Haruka-san, I'm not a woman!"  
  
She looks back at him as she pulls some clothes out of the chest.  
  
"We can fix that."  
  
Keitaro's eyes go wide.  
  
"You aren't suggesting that I, uh, that I . . . . ."  
  
"If you look and act like a woman, they will accept you. Then you can prove yourself to them."  
  
"That's crazy!"  
  
Haruka drops the clothes in his arms.  
  
"Try these on. I suggest that you use these pads in the bra."  
  
"I don't know about this."  
  
"You want to be the manager, don't you?"  
  
Keitaro pauses for a few seconds.  
  
"Okay, I'll do it. I have to prove that a man can do the job just as well as a woman."  
  
The next few hours pass teaching Keitaro how to move more like a woman. Once he has mastered the basics, Haruka helps him select a wardrobe and a hairpiece. Keitaro then points out a major hurdle.  
  
"Even if I look like a woman, I'll still sound like me."  
  
Haruka smiles and hands him a black neckband with a silver charm.  
  
"Put this on. Turn on the switch behind the charm."  
  
Keitaro flips the hidden switch and speaks. His voice starts to change as the device warms up.  
  
"What is this supposed to do about m-m-my, my voice! I, I sound like a girl!"  
  
"A friend of mine used that to get a job at a private school recently. It worked pretty well for him there."  
  
"This is amazing! I don't even recognize my voice anymore!"  
  
"Now we need to work on your name. Urashima Keitaro won't do, since they know you already. How about Urashida Keiko?"  
  
"That sounds okay. Keiko is a nice name."  
  
There is a sound in the front room. Haruka move towards the door.  
  
"You stay back here and pack your new clothes. I need to see what they want."  
  
Haruka enters the front room and spots Naru. She motions for her to sit down.  
  
"What can I do for you? Do you want some Oolong tea?"  
  
"Yes, that would be nice."  
  
Naru sits and Haruka brings two glasses of tea and sits across from her.  
  
"Haruka-san, where is Keitaro?"  
  
"He went home. He decided that it would be too much trouble to try to convince all of you that he should be the manager."  
  
Naru looks at her tea.  
  
"Oh, he left already. He didn't even say goodbye."  
  
Haruka smiles at her.  
  
"Well, you didn't make him feel very welcome. Did you expect him to want to see you one last time?"  
  
"I, I suppose not. But, what will we do? We need a manager!"  
  
"I think I can find another person. I have a friend called Urashida Keiko. She needs a new job and may be able to help us out."  
  
"That would be good. I don't think any of us would have a problem with a woman manager, even if she doesn't have much experience. When can Keitaro be here?"  
  
"Keitaro? you mean Keiko, don't you?"  
  
"Uh, that's right, Keiko!"  
  
"I need to make a phone call, but I think she could start tomorrow afternoon."  
  
Naru sips her tea and smiles.  
  
"That's a relief. We really need a manager, and if it's a woman, even Motoko will go along with it."  
  
Haruka removes her cigarette holder.  
  
"You wanted Keitaro to stay, didn't you?"  
  
Naru blushes.  
  
"N-no! Why w-would I want a p-p-pervert like that to b-be our manager?"  
  
Haruka leans back and smiles.  
  
"I guess I saw something that wasn't there. Forget about it. He'll never come around here again so you don't need to worry about it."  
  
Naru's mind sees Keitaro, as he was when she fell on him and knocked his glasses off after he first said that he was going to leave.  
  
"Never? He won't come back?"  
  
"That's right. All of you should be happy that you will be getting a woman manager now, just like you wanted."  
  
Naru, her tea unfinished, stands and slowly walks to the door.  
  
"Uh, yes, that's right. Just like we, we wanted. I'll go tell the others the, uh, good news."  
  
Haruka heads to the back room. Keitaro looks up at her as she enters.  
  
"Who was that?"  
  
"It was just Naru. I told her that you left and that Keiko will be here tomorrow afternoon. You can stay here tonight. Come back after your classes tomorrow and pick up your new clothes and then I'll take you up to the inn and re-introduce you."  
  
He reaches up and touches his glasses.  
  
"I'll stop by the eye clinic and pick up some contact lenses tomorrow. Maybe they can give me a pair that will change my eye color a little."  
  
"That's a good idea. If you're hungry, I'm making some ramen and wontons for dinner."  
  
"Thanks, I didn't have a chance to make it to dinner tonight. Motoko-chan wouldn't let me in the dining room while she was there, and she forbade Shinobu-chan from going near me."  
  
They have dinner and work out the rest of their plans. Keitaro cleans up and settles down on a spare futon in the back room. As he drifts to sleep, he wonders what tomorrow will bring.  
  
Monday Afternoon  
  
After classes, Naru is walking down the hall at the prep school. Most of her time in class was spent stealing glances back at Keitaro who, fortunately or unfortunately, was unaware of her attentions. She looks at the crowds, trying to find a single person. She finally spots Keitaro near a locker. As she makes her way to him, he closes the locker and turns to head for the exit. Naru runs up behind him and bumps his arm with her shoulder.  
  
"Oh, excuse me! Oh, it's you, Keitaro. I didn't notice you. How are you doing?"  
  
Keitaro turns to her.  
  
"H-hello, Narusegawa. I'd like to talk, but I'm in kind of a hurry. Maybe another time, I'm sorry."  
  
Naru stands in the hall and watches him rush out the door. She exits the building, not noticing that a light rain is falling. As the drops runs down her face, she whispers.  
  
"He didn't even want to talk to me. He must think that I'm horrible. First, I kept his lie a secret even when he was ready to confess, and then I side with Motoko when they found out. I didn't even tell everyone that I already knew he wasn't a Toudai student. I guess that I was afraid they'd take it the wrong way."  
  
She opens her umbrella and walks to the train station. The trip home seems longer and lonely. She pretends to study a book as she sits, but her eyes steal glances at some of the other passengers. Along with people on their way to or from work, there are a few couples. Naru looks at the happy and contented looks on their faces and feels a tightness in her chest.  
  
The train reaches the end of the line and Naru makes her way back to Hinata-sou. As she passes the tea shop, she enters and sees Haruka preparing for the evening's customers.  
  
"Ah, Naru. How did your classes go today?"  
  
Naru absentmindedly sits at a table.  
  
"Oh, fine. I studied Keitaro a lot today."  
  
"You studied what?"  
  
Naru looks up and realizes the slip she just made.  
  
"Uh, ah, I studied really hard today!"  
  
Haruka bring her a glass of hot Oolong tea.  
  
"Here you go Naru. It must be cold because of the rain today. Your face is all flustered. Are you catching a cold?"  
  
"No, I'm, ah, just a little chilly. This tea will warm me up, thanks."  
  
"Keiko should be here soon. Do you have the room ready for her?"  
  
"Yes. Keitaro cleaned it before he left. We didn't have to do a thing."  
  
"That's good. We want to make a nice first impression for our new manager."  
  
Naru looks at her glass.  
  
"Do you think we did the right thing? I feel a little guilty about not letting Keitaro have another chance. Granny Hina must have known that Motoko-san would never accept a man as the new manager. Why couldn't she have picked a woman in the first place? At least that way, Keitaro wouldn't have been hurt."  
  
Haruka finishes setting the rest of the chairs near the tables.  
  
"That's all done now. We just have to move forward and make do with what life sends our way."  
  
Naru sits up and smiles.  
  
"I suppose you're right. Well, I'd better head up and get ready for you to bring Keiko when she gets here! Thanks for the tea, Haruka-san, it really helped me warm up!"  
  
Naru heads for the door and Haruka moves to clean the table.  
  
"Your welcome, Naru."  
  
Haruka smiles as she picks up the glass. Naru never drank a drop of the tea.  
  
A few minutes later, Keitaro walks in the door. Haruka looks at him and then does a double take.  
  
"My goodness. You look a lot different with those contacts. I almost didn't recognize you with blue eyes."  
  
"Aren't they cool? I might just keep using them, even while I'm not Keiko!"  
  
"You'd better be careful. You don't want any of them to see Keitaro with blue eyes."  
  
"I guess you're right. But they really are neat!"  
  
Haruka motions to the back room.  
  
"Let's get you fixed up. We don't want to keep them waiting for their new manager."  
  
About forty-five minutes later, they head for Hinata-sou.  
  
Monday Evening  
  
From her perch on the roof, Su spots Haruka, holding an umbrella and a small suitcase, leading a woman up the steps. She leaps down from one floor to the next and runs through the front door.  
  
"They're here! They're here!"  
  
The girls meet in the common room. Haruka opens the door and leads Keiko inside. She stops in the foyer, sets her suitcase on the floor, and places the umbrella in the rack. Keitaro/Keiko places another suitcase down and shakes his head to remove a few stray drops of rain from his wig. Shinobu's eyes go wide.  
  
"(She's beautiful! And her hair is even shinier than Motoko-sempai's!)"  
  
Kitsune puts her hand on her chin.  
  
"(Whoa! She's got breasts as big as mine. And they look even firmer! I'm jealous!)"  
  
Haruka guides Keitaro/Keiko to the common room.  
  
"Hello everyone, I'd like you to meet your new manager, Urashida Keiko."  
  
Keitaro/Keiko bows to them.  
  
"I am happy to meet all of you. I hope that I can fulfill my responsibilities as your new manager in a satisfactory manner."  
  
Naru bows to her.  
  
"I'm Narusegawa Naru. I'm pleased to meet you, and welcome to Hinata-sou."  
  
Motoko introduces herself.  
  
"Greetings Urashida-san. I am Aoyama Motoko."  
  
Kitsune reaches out to shake her hand.  
  
"Konno Mitsune, at your service, but ya'll can call me Kitsune!"  
  
Su jumps over and pokes at her legs.  
  
"Nice gams! I'm Kaolla Su! Do you like to play with tanks?"  
  
"Uh, tanks are very nice. Just be careful what you shoot at."  
  
"Roger!"  
  
Shinobu moves and bows to her.  
  
"I'm Maehara Shinobu. Welcome. I cook for everyone here."  
  
"Thank you, Shinobu-chan. I look forward to your delicious meals."  
  
Haruka stands in the foyer as the others sit in the common room. The sound of the door opening causes her to turn around. A beautiful young woman stands there and shakes off her umbrella. Haruka bows to her.  
  
"Good evening. I'm Urashima Haruka. How can I help you?"  
  
"Thank you. I just arrived in town and I am looking for a place to stay. Oh my, this inn is lovely. My name is Otohime Mutsumi."  
  
Haruka motions to the common room.  
  
"You're welcome here. We have a new manager that just came in so I'll process the contract for you."  
  
Mutsumi looks over at the other girls.  
  
"Oh my! Why is that man dressed like a woman? Are you having a masquerade party?"  
  
Haruka stares at her for a few seconds and then pulls her to the side.  
  
"How can you tell that he's not a woman? That disguise should have been perfect."  
  
"I don't know really. He just looks like a man in a dress to me."  
  
Mutsumi stares at Haruka.  
  
"Oh my! He's not one of, of, those!"  
  
Haruka holds up her hands.  
  
"No, he's not! This is, uh, part of, ah, an experiment to see if a man can pass himself off as a woman. If you are to live here, one of the conditions is that you must keep this a secret.  
  
"I love science! Of course I won't tell anyone."  
  
Haruka catches Keiko's attention and motions for him to come over.  
  
"What can I do for you, Haruka-san?"  
  
"Urashida Keiko, this is Otohime Mutsumi. She just arrived and will be living here."  
  
She leans close to him and whispers.  
  
"She knows you're a man. Don't ask me how she figured it out so quickly, but she agreed to keep our, ah, experiment a secret."  
  
Keiko's blue eyes go wide.  
  
"If she figured it out that fast, the others are sure to! What am I gonna do?"  
  
"You're going to finish what you started. Maybe they won't pick up on whatever it was that gave you away to Mutsumi-san."  
  
Mutsumi leans close to Keiko.  
  
"Oh my! What a darling face you have. You make a beautiful woman!"  
  
"Keiko-san, why don't you show Mutsumi to her room. I'll take care of the contract and she can sign it later. I'll also see if any of the others suspect who you really are."  
  
"Okay, but if they do I want you to do me a favor.""  
  
"What is it?"  
  
"Yell loud enough so I can get a head start. The others may hurt me, but Motoko-chan will kill me for sure."  
  
Keiko shows Mutsumi to an empty room on the second floor.  
  
"Is this okay? We didn't expect you so it is a little dusty. I'll bring you a futon and some towels in a few minutes."  
  
As Keiko turns to leave, Mutsumi grabs his hand and leads him next to the window.  
  
"Urashima-kun. Don't you remember me?"  
  
Keiko stares at her.  
  
"How did you know my real name? I don't remember ever meeting you."  
  
She playfully rubs her hand on his arm.  
  
"Oh my! It was a long time ago, but we both used to play at a park nearby. I had to move away fifteen years ago, but I never forgot you."  
  
As Keiko stares at her, the childhood nickname he gave her finally returns to him after fifteen long years.  
  
"Mu-mu-chan?"  
  
Mutsumi claps her hands and smiles at him.  
  
"You do remember! Oh my, I am so happy! Why are you dressed like a woman?"  
  
"I want to prove that I can be a good manager, but they won't accept a man for the job."  
  
"Then I promise to keep your secret and help if I can."  
  
Keiko wraps his arms around his long-lost friend as a tear rolls down his cheek. Mutsumi returns his embrace. In a voice full of emotion, Keiko whispers.  
  
"I missed you so much! Where did you go?"  
  
"My family moved to Okinawa. We own a fishing store and a few restaurants now. I came back here to study at prep school for Toudai."  
  
"I'm studying for Toudai too! I failed twice, but I still want to make it someday."  
  
"Then that makes us both flunkies! I failed the last two times also! Oh my!"  
  
Mutsumi places her hands on his cheeks and gently kisses him, one old friend greeting another. The sound of a gasp causes them both to turn towards the door. Naru stands there with her hand to her chest.  
  
"I'm s-s-sorry! I didn't realize that, that . . . . ."  
  
Mutsumi tilts her head and smiles at her.  
  
"Come in, please. Did you know that your new manager and I used to be best friends when we were children and we haven't seen each other in fifteen years?"  
  
Naru steps into the room relieved that what she saw wasn't what she thought she saw.  
  
"Haruka-san has your contract ready. If you like to come down, you can meet everyone. I'm Narusegawa Naru. Pleased to meet you."  
  
"Otohime Mutsumi, I am pleased to meet you too!"  
  
They head back downstairs to the common room. Mutsumi quickly closes the contact and takes a seat next to Keiko. After the girls introduces themselves, Motoko looks at Mutsumi over her glass of tea.  
  
"It is fortunate that our new manager has met an old friend during her first day. It bodes well for the future. A joyous meeting such as this would never have happened if that weakling Urashima were still our manager."  
  
Mutsumi plays along with Keitaro's deception.  
  
"Oh my. Didn't you like your old manager?"  
  
"He is a lecherous, perverted, vile, deceiving male! If I ever see him near Hinata-sou again, my sword will bring final justice to his soul! He is evil incarnate!"  
  
"Oh dear me! He sounds like a very bad person! I would not want to meet someone like that after dark!"  
  
Kitsune chimes in.  
  
"Ya'll wouldn't be safe during the day, either. He's a groper too!"  
  
Keiko looks at Kitsune.  
  
"Now, I do not believe that a man can be as bad as all of that. Surely, you must be exaggerating. What do you have to say about him, Su-chan?"  
  
Sue snags a banana from the table with her foot.  
  
"He wasn't too bad, but I didn't have a lot of time ta play with Keitaro. Motoko hogged most of the fun for herself."  
  
Shinobu puts her hands between her knees.  
  
"I liked Sem . . . . . uh, Urashima-san because he trusted me to be the cook for Hinata-sou. But, I was disappointed that he lied about being a Toudai student."  
  
Mutsumi looks at Naru.  
  
"What did you think of him?"  
  
Naru , distracted by her thoughts, continues to look in her glass.  
  
"Oh my, Narusegawa-san, are you asleep?"  
  
She looks up.  
  
"Oh, sorry, I was thinking about something. I don't believe that Keitaro was really that bad. I'm kind of sorry that we were so mean to him, though. This is his grandmother's inn after all."  
  
Outside, there is a flash of lightning followed almost immediately by the thunder. Shinobu jumps to her feet.  
  
"Aaauuuuu!"  
  
Su leaps from her chair and runs for the stairs.  
  
"Hot dog! Now I can try to power up my next invention! Four point two giga-watts is what I need to kick start the reactor!"  
  
Motoko looks at Shinobu.  
  
"I will assist you in the kitchen tonight. It would not be polite to make our new manager and resident wait on their first meal here at Hinata-sou."  
  
"Thank you, Motoko-sempai. I'll start right away."  
  
Monday Night  
  
After dinner, Haruka leaves satisfied that Keiko's first meeting went well. He goes to his room and prepares for bed. He places the bra and padding on the desk. Outside, the lightning and thunder has become more regular as the wind howls through the trees and the rain pelts the side of the inn.  
  
"That went pretty well. I'm glad Mutsumi-san will keep my identity a secret. Maybe this will be easier than I thought."  
  
As he is about to turn out the light, there is a soft knock at the door.  
  
"Just a moment, please."  
  
He quickly put on the bra and pads again, and then answers the door. Shinobu stands there with one of her stuffed toy animals.  
  
"Shinobu-chan, what can I do for you?"  
  
Shinobu moves a few steps into the room, clutching her doll tightly. Another flash of lightning causes her to shudder.  
  
"I, I'm scared of th-the s-storm."  
  
"Did your lights go out? Is there a leak in your room?"  
  
"N-no, I just was afraid being by myself."  
  
Keiko places his hands on her shoulders.  
  
"What do you need?"  
  
Shinobu looks up at the manager.  
  
"C-can I sleep here tonight, please? I don't want to be alone!"  
  
"S-sleep here, w-w-with m-me?"  
  
She clutches him as another lightning bolt flashes outside. He looks down and sees a tear rolling down her cheek.  
  
"Okay, Shinobu-chan. You can stay with me tonight."  
  
She looks up at Keiko again.  
  
"Thank you, Sempai!"  
  
Keiko pulls another futon from the closet and sets it next to his. Shinobu crawls into it as he turns the lamp on the desk on. Keiko turns off the room lights and kneels near his futon.  
  
"Is that enough light, Shinobu-chan?"  
  
"Yes, thank you very much. I'm sorry to be such a bother to you on your first day. But, for some reason, I feel comfortable around you."  
  
Keiko smiles at her.  
  
"Thank you very much for the compliment. If you have any problems sleeping, let me know."  
  
He slides into his bed and closes his eyes. He is awakened suddenly by an especially loud clap of thunder. As he tries to turn on his side, his left arm seems very heavy. He looks down and sees Shinobu in his futon, clutching to his arm. He gently tries to extract himself, but Shinobu holds on tightly. Consigned to his fate, he rests his head back on his pillow.  
  
"(It can't get any worse.)"  
  
Another white flash brightens the room temporarily. Shinobu, sleeping calmly next to him, moves her left leg on top of his.  
  
"(Oh my, not there!)"  
  
End of Chapter One. 


	2. Girl Talk

Love Hina – I, My, Oh Dear Me! Scrambled Strawberry Eggs  
  
Fanfic by Steven Biggs  
  
Chapter Two – Girl Talk  
  
Tuesday Morning.  
  
Shinobu opens her eyes as the morning sun brightens the room. She looks up at Keiko and smiles.  
  
"Thank you for letting me sleep here last night. I, I hope that I wasn't a bother. Did you sleep well?"  
  
Keiko, his eyes dark from the lack of sleep, forces a smile.  
  
"I am fine, just fine. I am glad to have been of assistance."  
  
Shinobu stands and exits the room. Keiko crawls over to the desk and pulls himself into the chair. He looks up and looks at his reflection in the mirror.  
  
"I look like something the cat dragged in. I'd better take a bath. That always helps me on days like this."  
  
He goes to the closet, pulls out a robe and towel, and heads down the hallway to the bath barrel.  
  
(At least I can still use the barrel, it'd be trouble to bathe in the hot spring.)  
  
A few seconds later, he stands where the barrel used to be. The porch is now occupied by a garden table and some chairs.  
  
"My, my barrel! Its gone!"  
  
"Keiko! Keiko-san!"  
  
Keiko turns and looks for the person calling. Naru, wearing just her towel, is in the hot spring waving at him.  
  
"Na-na-na . . . . ."  
  
"What are you doing up there? We all take our baths in the hot spring. Come on, the temperature is perfect today!"  
  
"Gack!"  
  
Keiko heads back inside and walks towards his room.  
  
(I can't! They'll find out who I am for sure!)  
  
He looks up and sees Haruka rushing towards him.  
  
"Aunt Haruka! Ooooph!"  
  
"Don't call me that!"  
  
She looks at her nephew.  
  
"I'm glad I caught you in time. I think we both overlooked the fact that you would have to join the girls in the hot spring sometime. I have what you'll need."  
  
He follows her into his room. After she slides the door closed, Haruka hands him a small package.  
  
"Use this. It will help keep your identity a secret while you bathe."  
  
Keiko opens the bag and stares at the contents.  
  
"I can't use this! It's bad enough pretending to be a woman, but I won't wear a bathing suit!"  
  
Haruka shakes her finger.  
  
"You are going to have to use the hot spring sometime, that's unavoidable. And you can't just wait until the girls aren't using it. You know that their schedules are unpredictable."  
  
"But, but, but . . . . ."  
  
"No arguments. You're going to have to do it sometime and may as well do it now."  
  
But, Haruka-san, how can I hide my, uh . . . . ."  
  
"Look in the bottom of the bag. It will, cover you."  
  
"Hmm? A supporter?  
  
Haruka leaves he room, turning for one last comment.  
  
"If you screw this up, we'll both be looking for new jobs!"  
  
Keiko sits in his room for a few minutes thinking to himself.  
  
(Maybe it will work. Haruka's right, I gonna have to go in there or the girls will get suspicious.)  
  
(The only one using it right now is Narusegawa.)  
  
(These clothes look like they'll work.)  
  
(Narusegawa is taking a bath right now, alone.)  
  
(I have to do what it takes to prove that a man can be a good manager for Hinata-sou.)  
  
(Narusegawa is all alone in the hot spring, taking her bath.)  
  
A minute later Keiko, smiling, walks downstairs to the hot spring. He places his robe in one of the baskets in the changing room and then heads outside.  
  
"Good Morning, Miss Manager!"  
  
"Gack!"  
  
Keiko freezes. All of the residents are in the hot spring waving to him. Naru skips over and grabs his hand.  
  
"Come on! Everyone is here this morning. Usually, we can't all make it. However, we agreed since this is your first day. We can all get to know each other better."  
  
Mutsumi walks over and takes his other hand.  
  
"Yes, do join us! We haven't played in the water together since we were children! I'll even scrub your back if you'll scrub mine! Oh my!"  
  
Su stares at his bathing suit.  
  
"That's kind of old fashioned, don'cha think?"  
  
Motoko leans against a boulder as she pats her cheek with a cloth.  
  
"If Urashida prefers to wear a bathing suit, then I think we should all respect that."  
  
Kitsune places her hands against her own towel and lifts her breasts.  
  
"Darn! And I was looking forward to having a competition with ya!"  
  
Keiko struggles feebly as the girls pull him into the water.  
  
"P-p-please, take it easy. I am not quite used to this."  
  
Shinobu claps her hands as Keiko walks next to her.  
  
"Wow! Your figure is so, strong and full! I wish I can have a body like yours when I grow up!"  
  
Keiko briefly closes his eyes as he settles into the water.  
  
(Don't wish on my body! It'll bring me bad luck!)  
  
Motoko nods her head.  
  
"Yes, you do seem to be rather athletic. It would benefit me greatly to have a training partner, and I would be honored if you would agree to assist me."  
  
Falling into old habits, he responds without thinking.  
  
"Sure, I would be glad to!"  
  
The self-preservationist side of Keitaro's brain walks over and kicks the stupid side.  
  
(You idiot! What were you thinking?)  
  
Motoko reaches up and adjusts her towel.  
  
"Then shall we begin after breakfast? That is, if you do not have any duties lined up yet."  
  
The self-preservationist side of Keitaro's brain, still trying to think of a way out of the mess the other side just got him into, stands and makes a diving leap, but is unable to subdue the stupid side in time.  
  
"Okay, I have nothing planned yet."  
  
(Aw, spit! You just let a chance to get out of that slip by! Whatever Motoko-chan says next, just say no!)  
  
The sword master motions to Shinobu and they head out of the water to prepare breakfast. She turns to Keiko as she reaches the door.  
  
"Urashida-san, I have an extra gi, would you mind wearing it when we practice?"  
  
"No."  
  
The self-preservationist side of Keitaro's brain goes into the corner and sucks its thumb.  
  
(I'm an idiot. Just paint a bull's-eye on my forehead and give me a sign to hang around my neck.)  
  
Su pats Keiko on the shoulder.  
  
"That's very considerate of ya to help Motoko. She hasn't been really happy since she chased Keitaro away. She said that she wished he tried to stay longer so she could have some real sport beating his quote, 'vile, lecherous, deceiving male butt' every day."  
  
Keiko whispers.  
  
"I just made her wish come true."  
  
"What's that?"  
  
"I, uh, think that's a strange wish to do!"  
  
A few minutes later, Shinobu calls everyone in for breakfast. After Keiko quickly exits the spring and heads for his room, Kitsune leans next to Naru.  
  
"I'm not sure, but didn't Keiko-san's breasts look a little bigger after she got out of the water?"  
  
Naru tilts her head.  
  
"I didn't really notice. She was in such a hurry to leave."  
  
Mutsumi smiles as she walks by.  
  
"Oh my! Maybe Keiko-san is part sponge!"  
  
Up in his room, Keiko cautiously looks out the window. Assured that no one can see, he holds his pads out the window and squeezes the water out of them.  
  
"I'd better check with Haruka to see if she has any of these that are water-proof."  
  
After breakfast, Keiko returns to his room and changes into the gi that Motoko gave him. As he slips the white shirt on, he can smell the light fragrance of incense.  
  
"This smells like she did when we fought on the roof. I didn't really think about it before, but it is kind of nice."  
  
He walks over and looks in the mirror.  
  
"I look pretty in this. It hides my figure, but that's kind of sexy."  
  
". . . . ."  
  
"WHAT am I saying?"  
  
Keiko walks up the stairs to the outside platform. Motoko sits there meditating. As he approaches, she stands and bows to him.  
  
"Thank you, Urashida-san. I thought that we would start with just some simple sword maneuvers."  
  
Motoko hands him a training sword. He looks at it carefully.  
  
"Isn't this dangerous?"  
  
"Not at all. We will practice with the blades in their scabbards. I would not wish to accidentally harm you."  
  
Keiko looks around.  
  
"I thought that the others would be up here to watch."  
  
Motoko ties her hair back and looks at him.  
  
"I requested that they allow us some privacy for our first session. I would not want you to be embarrassed or distracted by observers."  
  
Keiko bows to her.  
  
"Thank you, that was most thoughtful. What should I do?"  
  
"Just keep the sword raised and attempt to parry my swings. I shall start slowly to allow you to become accustomed to the flow of the contest."  
  
They face off in the center of the platform. The wind blows a few leaves through the air. One gently falls between them and as it touches down, Motoko begins.  
  
"Guard!"  
  
Motoko rushes towards Keiko and raises her sword. In an exaggerated movement, she brings it straight down. Keiko easily has time to react and holds his sword to deflect the blow to the side. Motoko follows through by spinning to the left. Keiko quickly moves his sword to the side to catch the return swing. The clatter of the swords echo in the silence as they trade blows. After a few minutes, Motoko signals for a pause.  
  
"Very good, Urashida-san. If you feel ready, I shall increase the speed and power of my attacks. Call for a break if you feel that I am exceeding your abilities. Shall we continue?"  
  
Keiko nods his head.  
  
"Yes, I am ready."  
  
Motoko leaps towards him and begins raining a fury of strokes. Keiko manages to intercept them, but is forced backwards to the railing. A sweeping strike at his legs causes him to jump over the railing and onto the roof. Buoyed by his success so far, he smiles and taunts Motoko.  
  
"Is that the best you have? I am surprised they even allow you to hold a butter knife during meals!"  
  
Motoko returns his smile.  
  
"Ah, the novice believes herself to be invincible! Very well, let us take it to the next level!"  
  
Leaping the railing, Motoko quickly forces Keiko to the peak of the roof. A few of the blows get past his defense, but do no real harm. He attempts to catch Motoko off guard with a spinning move, but the sword master intercepts his blow and knocks his sword away. He watches as it clatters down the roof and lands on the platform. Keiko smiles and turns back to Motoko.  
  
That was pretty good! I thought for sure that I would score a . . . . ."  
  
Keiko stares at Motoko. Her smile replaced with a scowl, she stands there with her sword unsheathed, the blade glinting menacingly in the sunlight. In a quick motion, she swings and cuts through Keiko's gi, barely missing his abdomen.  
  
"M-Motoko-chan! What are you doing?"  
  
The sword slices through the air again, causing Keiko to back up to the edge of the roof. He looks backwards at the deadly plunge behind him before spinning and holding his hands up to Motoko.  
  
"That is enough Motoko-chan. I think we should stop for today!"  
  
Motoko raises her sword again. Chi swirls around the blade, and Keiko can feel the wind bending to its force.  
  
"No, we are not finished, Urashima Keitaro!"  
  
End of Chapter Two. 


	3. Rematch

Love Hina – I, My, Oh Dear Me! Scrambled Strawberry Eggs  
  
Fanfic by Steven Biggs  
  
Chapter Three – Rematch  
  
Tuesday Morning.  
  
As flames leap from her eyes and the vortex rolls from her blade, Motoko lunges towards her target.  
  
"URASHIMA!!!"  
  
Keiko retreats, forgetting about the fatal fall behind him. He loses his footing and spins over the edge.  
  
"NOOOOO!!!"  
  
A sudden jerk halts his fall and he feels the back of his shirt caught on the lip of the roof. His long, black hair whips around as the vortex crashes through the air, just inches over his head. A scream pierces the air, followed by a flash of red and white in front of Keiko's eyes. Instinctively he reaches out and his hands tangle themselves in Motoko's gi as she plummets past him. Her body slams against his legs as he struggles to maintain his grip.  
  
"Motoko-chan! Motoko-chan! Are you okay?"  
  
Sword still in hand, Motoko looks up and her eyes slowly focus on him.  
  
"Urashida-san! What, what did I do? For a moment I, I thought you were someone else. I am so sorry! Please forgive me, but it was so familiar somehow."  
  
Keiko strains to hold onto Motoko with one hand as he reaches up to grab the roof.  
  
"Hold on! I will try to pull us up! Do not worry!"  
  
As he reaches up, his shirt begins to tear. Slowly, he lowers his arm.  
  
"Motoko-chan, you have to use me to climb back up. If I try to turn to grab the roof, we may both fall."  
  
Motoko nods, quickly understanding their situation. Tucking her sword in her gi, she slowly pulls herself up his body. As her face passes his chest, she can see inside the cut her sword made. Her eyes widen for a moment as she spots the pads underneath his bra. In a voice so soft that Keiko cannot hear, Motoko whispers.  
  
"It is you, Urashima Keitaro."  
  
They both shake as his shirt tears even more from the strain.  
  
"Motoko-chan! Hurry and save yourself! My shirt is ripping faster! Please hurry!"  
  
Motoko pulls herself up and grips the roof. As her stomach slides over the edge, Keiko's shirt fails. As he starts to fall to the ground, a hand wraps around his wrist. Motoko, sweat dripping from her brow, fights to keep from sliding back off the roof.  
  
"Motoko-chan! Let me go, or you will fall again!"  
  
Ignoring him, she grits her teeth even as she slides closer to the edge.  
  
Seeing her plight, Keiko responds the only way he can think of.  
  
"You stupid Kendo-Girl! Let me go!"  
  
The sword master's eyes snap open and silent flames begin to build in them. After a moment, she blinks twice and tilts her head. Summoning her strength, Motoko manages to pulls Keiko's hand up to the roof. He gets a firm hold, raises his other hand, and pulls himself to safety. As they lay there panting, Keiko rolls his head over and looks at Motoko.  
  
"You idiot! You could have died!"  
  
Motoko opens her eyes and stares up into the sky.  
  
"Why are you here? Why did you return to Hinata-sou?"  
  
"Wh-what do you mean?"  
  
"I swore to kill you if you ever came back. Why would you save me?"  
  
"I, I do not know what you are . . . . ."  
  
She turns her head sharply and looks into his eyes.  
  
"I know now who you are, Urashima Keitaro. That is why our contest seemed so familiar. One cannot easily disguise their fighting form."  
  
Keiko's fingers touch the charm on his neckband. He sits up and speaks in his normal voice.  
  
"I had to, Motoko-chan."  
  
"Why did you have to return?"  
  
Keitaro shakes his head.  
  
"No, I mean that I had to save you. Do you think that I would allow you to fall just so I could keep this job? As you've said, I may be a vile, lecherous, perverted male, but I couldn't let you fall, no matter what you swore you would do to me."  
  
Motoko sits up and straightens her gi.  
  
"You attempted to infuriate me, so that you would fall and I would remain safe."  
  
"I'm sorry. I didn't know what else to do. If we had slid any further, you would've fallen with me."  
  
"Are you here to play some kind of trick on us for chasing you away from your grandmother's inn?"  
  
Keitaro shakes his head.  
  
"No, this isn't a prank. I just wanted to prove that a man could be a good manager for Hinata-sou."  
  
He stands up and starts to walk back down to the platform. As he reaches the rail, he pulls off his wig.  
  
"I'll leave. I promise that I will never come back again. And, since I failed, I'll accept whatever punishment you girls decide for me."  
  
As he steps onto the platform, Motoko calls out to him.  
  
"You look better with the wig on. I suggest you replace it before any of the others see you."  
  
Keitaro turns and looks up at her.  
  
"What?"  
  
Motoko stands and smiles at him.  
  
"If you are brave enough to attempt something this outrageous, you deserve a fair chance to prove yourself as our manager. Also, I will not forget what you did this day. You may think that I am just, some Kendo-Girl, but I recognize honor. Please, resume your disguise. I shall do what I can to protect your secret."  
  
"Motoko-chan . . . . ."  
  
"Do not misunderstand me. I still do not approve of the idea of a man being our manager. I still intend to protect my friends and you must follow any directions that I relay to you. Now that I know you are not a female, certain tasks will be forbidden."  
  
She pulls her sword out once more.  
  
"But, be warned! If you are discovered or if you tread where you should not, my sword will bring you to final justice!"  
  
Keitaro replaces his wig and touches the neckband once more. Keiko smiles at Motoko.  
  
"Thank you. I hope that your trust will not be wasted on me."  
  
Motoko walks down to join him. As she reaches the railing, she looses her footing and flips over onto the platform. Keiko dives over and softens her fall with his body. They tumble to the floor and roll towards the center of the platform. Keiko, his arms at his sides, lies frozen as Motoko's lips accidentally press down against his own. They lay there for a few seconds, not daring to move. The sound of a sharp intake of breath causes them to look towards the stairs. Naru, her hands to her mouth, stands there staring at them.  
  
"M-Motoko-chan! Wh-why were you k-kissing the manager?"  
  
Shinobu peeks from behind Naru.  
  
"Aaauuuuu! The lilacs are blooming!"  
  
Author's Note: Lilacs are symbolic in some anime for female-to-female love. In other words, Shinobu is saying that Motoko is showing lesbian tendencies. ^_*  
  
Motoko, blushing, leaps to her feet and holds out her hands.  
  
"This is n-not what it seems! We, uh, just fell while practicing!"  
  
Keiko rolls over and pushes himself to his feet.  
  
"Motoko-chan is correct. It was entirely an accident. I tried to block her fall, and we ended up like that. That is all there is to it."  
  
Naru brushes at her forehead.  
  
"Thank goodness! It would be a problem if we had, one of those here. It would almost be as bad as having Keitaro back!"  
  
Motoko nods her head.  
  
"I am in total agreement with you, Naru-sempai!"  
  
Shinobu releases a breath.  
  
"I'm glad you're still normal, Motoko-sempai! And I'm happy that Sempai is normal too. If she wasn't, I would have been in trouble last night."  
  
Motoko looks at her as she walks towards the stairs.  
  
"What do you mean, about last night?"  
  
Shinobu kicks at a leaf as it blows across the floor.  
  
"I was afraid of all the thunder and lightning last night, and our new manager was kind enough to let me sleep with her."  
  
Motoko looks back at Keiko and he can see her tighten her grip on her sword.  
  
"Really? That was rather considerate of her. However, you must not impose upon her in such a manner in the future. She, must keep her mind focused upon her allotted tasks. And nothing else."  
  
Keiko feels his blood run cold as Motoko, followed by Shinobu, turns and heads down the steps. Naru walks over to him and says something; he shakes his head and looks at her.  
  
"I am sorry, what did you say?"  
  
"Since I mentioned Keitaro, I thought I should tell you that I may invite him over to study with Mutsumi and I. I feel a little guilty that we forced him out of the job that Granny Hina left for him."  
  
"I thought that you didn't want a man here?"  
  
Naru shakes her head.  
  
"We don't want a man as our manager, that's true. But it wouldn't hurt if we let Keitaro come over and study with us in the common room, sometime."  
  
Keiko smiles at her.  
  
"Thank you! That would be very nice."  
  
Naru tilts her head.  
  
"Why should you thank me?"  
  
"Well, uh, it, ah, it would be good for Hinata-sou if people knew that the residents were such nice people!"  
  
Naru smiles and heads downstairs.  
  
"I never thought about it like that, but I guess that you're right. I'll tell Keitaro at class today that he can study with us. I'd better hurry or I'll miss the train."  
  
Keiko smiles as he watches Naru leave.  
  
"She really is kind of nice."  
  
"Oh my god! I forgot about prep school! I had better head to the Tea Shop so I can change!"  
  
Keiko rushes through the inn and leaps off the front porch. Su, sitting on top of the entrance, watches him run down the front steps.  
  
"She sure is in a big hurry to get where ever she has to be going to! Oh well, back to the soup! I don't know where ya come from, but I has gots to try ya!"  
  
Tama-chan, tied and hanging above a stew pot, looks at her.  
  
"Mew?"  
  
"Shuddup and simmer! This is gonna be good eating!"  
  
Mutsumi leans out the window and grabs the little turtle.  
  
"Oh my! There you are! Stop bothering Su-chan and come inside."  
  
Su looks at the empty window and then her stew pot.  
  
"Shucks! Tin foiled again!"  
  
Keiko, panting, runs in the door of Hinata Tea Shop. Haruka looks up from arranging the chairs.  
  
"Keitaro, what's wrong? Why are you wearing a gi?"  
  
"Motoko talked me into helping her train. I have to get ready for prep school! I completely forgot about my classes!"  
  
"Well, your regular clothes are in the back. You'd better hurry, the train leaves in about ten minutes."  
  
Stripping off the gi, Keiko heads for the back room.  
  
"Oh, by the way. Do you have any pads that are water-proof?"  
  
Haruka laughs at him.  
  
"I'm sorry. I didn't consider what would happen when you get wet. You must have gained one cup size at least! I'll get you a pair for the hot spring today."  
  
Keitaro continues talking from the back room.  
  
"Naru is going to invite me over to study. I think that's great!"  
  
Haruka stops moving the chairs around.  
  
"How are you going to explain why your Keiko half has to leave whenever Keitaro shows up?"  
  
"I'll think of something. It shouldn't be too difficult."  
  
His aunt adjusts her cigarette holder as he enters to front room.  
  
"How about her absence while you're at school?"  
  
Keitaro stops in his tracks.  
  
"That is going to be tough! I guess I didn't think everything through when I agreed to work in disguise."  
  
"Maybe you can tell them that Keiko has a grandmother to check on every day. It's kind of lame, but they should buy it."  
  
"Thanks. If I can't think of anything better, I'll use that. Well, I'm off! See you later!"  
  
"Keitaro."  
  
He turns back to Haruka.  
  
"What is it?"  
  
She points at her neck.  
  
"The charm. You forgot to take it off."  
  
He quickly pulls the neckband off and tosses it to her before running out the door.  
  
"Thanks! I'd be in trouble if I wore that to school. Bye!"  
  
Haruka puts the neckband in her pocket and finishes moving the chairs. She walks into the back room, places it on the desk, and then picks up Keitaro's glasses.  
  
"Oh no."  
  
She heads to the front door and spots Naru as she runs by on her way to the train.  
  
"Oh spit."  
  
A few minutes later, Motoko walks into the Tea Shop. Haruka looks up and sees a troubled look on the sword master's face.  
  
"What's wrong, Motoko-chan?"  
  
"Haruka-san, I must talk to you about your nephew. I discovered that he is Keiko-san."  
  
"Oh heck."  
  
Motoko reaches up and touches her lips with her fingertips.  
  
"And, I believe that, I am, I am falling in love with him."  
  
"Oh hell!"  
  
End of Chapter Three. 


	4. The Calm Before the Storm

Love Hina – I, My, Oh Dear Me! Scrambled Strawberry Eggs  
  
Fanfic by Steven Biggs  
  
Chapter Four – The Calm Before the Storm  
  
Tuesday Noon.  
  
Haruka sits in a chair across the table from Motoko. She rests her elbow on the table and places her chin in her palm. After adjusting her cigarette holder for a few seconds, she plunges ahead.  
  
"Is that so? I thought that you vowed to kill my nephew if he ever set foot in Hinata-sou again. Now, you're telling me that you may love him. Are you sure that you didn't hit your head when you fell?"  
  
Motoko shakes her head.  
  
"I am quite uninjured. But, I do not understand why I feel this way inside. What is it if not love?"  
  
"Did Naru help make breakfast? It might just be a case of indigestion."  
  
"Haruka-san, please! This is a serious matter to me."  
  
Haruka holds up her hands.  
  
"Okay, okay. Let's look at this in a fresh light. You've never kissed a guy before, have you?"  
  
Motoko lowers her eyes as she blushes.  
  
"Well I, uh, that is the opportunity never, I mean . . . no, I have not."  
  
"You've always avoided men because of your training, correct?"  
  
"That is correct. Males are distracting to my achieving mastery of the Shinmei art."  
  
"You have never owed your life to another, correct?"  
  
"Never. I pride myself on my self-sufficiency."  
  
Haruka pours another glass of tea and then counts on her fingers.  
  
"Okay. One, you find a new training partner, and she turns out to actually be a man. Two, he saves your life. Three you promise to protect his secret. Four, you accidentally kiss him."  
  
Haruka nods to herself and sips her tea. Motoko leans over the table.  
  
"Then, you have the answer, Haruka-san?"  
  
She finishes her tea and looks at Motoko.  
  
"I haven't got a clue."  
  
Motoko drops her head.  
  
"What do you suggest?"  
  
"What do you feel when you think of him?"  
  
Motoko raises her head and looks at a picture on the wall.  
  
"It is difficult to put into words. I feel, a tightness inside, but it is not unpleasant."  
  
Haruka's eyes look towards the door and then back at Motoko.  
  
"Hello Keitaro, what are you doing back here?"  
  
Haruka watches as Motoko's eyes go wide and her face blushes bright red. Haruka continues before Motoko can turn to look at the door.  
  
"Why are you holding hands with Mutsumi?"  
  
Haruka sees Motoko's brows pull together and a scowl form on her lips. She spins and looks at the door.  
  
"Where, where is he?"  
  
"Sorry about that. I just wanted to do a little experiment."  
  
"That was rather abrupt. I did not expect that of you. Did you learn anything?"  
  
Haruka stands and cleans the table. At the door, Kitsune prepares to enter, but stops outside when she hears the two talking. As Haruka carries the tray to the counter, she answers Motoko.  
  
"Why don't you try kissing Keitaro again? That might give you your answer."  
  
Motoko blushes at the thought.  
  
"How, how can I be so bold? It is not proper for a young woman to force herself upon a man."  
  
"Well, you need to do something, unless you wish to never know."  
  
"I must think about it. Thank you, Haruka-san."  
  
Outside, Kitsune dashes back to Hinata-sou with a wicked smile on her face.  
  
"This is gonna be fun! I gotta get some stuff ready! If I play it right, this'll be a bloodbath! When did Motoko-chan kiss Keitaro anyways? Oh well, at least I'm might get another chance to have some fun with that lying little, panty stealing dweeb!"  
  
Tuesday Afternoon  
  
Naru skips into the Tea Shop, a bright smile on her face. Haruka looks up from the counter and picks up a waiting tray. After placing a bag on an empty chair, Naru sits at a table and stares at the wall without seeing it. Haruka sits in front of her and waves her hand.  
  
"Earth to Naru. Do you read me?"  
  
Naru continues smiling. Haruka smiles and adjusts her cigarette holder.  
  
"Su accidentally cooked your Liddo-kun for lunch today."  
  
Naru reaches up and touches her fingertips to her lips.  
  
"That's nice."  
  
"Motoko and Shinobu are in the hospital getting their stomachs pumped out."  
  
Naru touches her lips again.  
  
"That's nice."  
  
"I'm pregnant with your child."  
  
Fingers to lips once more.  
  
"That's nice."  
  
Haruka reaches over, opens a tube of wasabe paste, and squeezes a dab onto Naru's fingers.  
  
"Fuji-san erupted and destroyed half of Tokyo. Gojira took care of the rest."  
  
Naru's fingers touch her lips. As she speaks, her eyes go wide and she waves her hand over her tongue.  
  
"That's. . . aaahhhh!! Hot! Hot! Hot! Give me something to drink! Hot! Hot!"  
  
Haruka slides a glass toward her.  
  
"Let that be a lesson. Never ignore your elders."  
  
Naru drinks the tea and pours another glass.  
  
"That wasn't funny, Haruka-OBASAN!"  
  
She smiles back at her.  
  
"No need to get rude. You looked rather happy when you came in. Want to tell Haruka-OBASAN about it?"  
  
Naru wipes her lips with a cloth and smiles at Haruka.  
  
"I saw Keitaro today."  
  
Haruka nods her head.  
  
"That is amazing. Who would have thought that you would ever see him, considering that you only go to the same prep school and were planning to see him anyway?"  
  
Naru shakes her head.  
  
"No, no, you don't understand. I saw him today but he didn't see me! That silly guy forgot his glasses!"  
  
"Is that so?"  
  
Naru stands up and acts out what she did.  
  
"Oh yes! I met him at the train station this morning. I stood next to him and he couldn't even tell who I was! I had to take his hand and lead him onto the train. When we got to school, oh it was so funny, we had to share my glasses so that he could see what the instructor was writing!"  
  
Haruka relaxes as she realizes that Naru hasn't discovered Keitaro's secret.  
  
"Did you invite him over to study?"  
  
"Oh yes! He looked so happy when I asked him. It was almost like he was hoping that I would!"  
  
"Is that so?"  
  
"Oh yes! I even had to lead him back to the train station after school. He said that he would be here after he picked up his glasses."  
  
"Is that so?"  
  
"Oh yes! Did you know that he likes pork fried rice?"  
  
"Tell me, do you happen to have the ingredients to make it in your bag?"  
  
Naru blushes and picks up the sack.  
  
"Well, uh, I did have to do some grocery shopping anyway today."  
  
Haruka adjusts her cigarette holder and looks at the door.  
  
"Are you going to prepare it or will Shinobu-chan cook for him?"  
  
"Uh, its been a while since I helped in the kitchen, so I might as well help her tonight. I'd better get up there before she starts making anything different. See you later, Haruka-san!"  
  
"Goodbye Naru."  
  
A few minutes after she leaves, Keitaro, wearing his blue contacts, peeks in the door.  
  
"Are any of the girls here, Haruka-san?"  
  
"No, it's safe, come on in. I was afraid that you'd blown it when you left and forgot your glasses."  
  
"I'm sorry. I'll be more careful from now on."  
  
He sits down and lifts the glass of tea Haruka had ready for him. He takes a sip and looks over at her.  
  
"Narusegawa invited me to study tonight. I still haven't been able to think of anything else to explain why Keiko isn't here, so I'll go with the grandmother story."  
  
"Okay. Are you going to ask Motoko to help you?"  
  
Keitaro gags on his tea.  
  
"Wh-what are you talking about?"  
  
Haruka hands him a towel as she sits down.  
  
"She told me that she knows who you are. I think that we can trust her."  
  
"Uh, what else did she tell you?"  
  
She smiles her crafty smile.  
  
"Nothing much. Tell her about the grandmother excuse. She'll back us up."  
  
Keitaro finishes his tea, goes into the backroom, and retrieves his glasses.  
  
"I'll tell them that you told me that Keiko would be late getting home tonight. That should work for today."  
  
Haruka waves to him as he leaves. She picks up the tray and takes it to the counter.  
  
"Good luck. You're going to need it. Shoot, I should have warned him about the rice."  
  
In her room, Kitsune slips into and buttons her tightest fitting blouse. Turning to the mirror, she looks at her figure and smiles. Naru mentioned that she invited Keitaro to study, so she decided to start her plan.  
  
"If this doesn't make that twerp slip up, I'll give up sake!"  
  
Su sits on the windowsill watching her.  
  
"Why'd ya want me for? Are ya right in saying that Keitaro is gonna come back?"  
  
"Yes, he'll be here soon to study with Naru and Mutsumi."  
  
"And ya want me to chase him around with one of my new Mecha-Tamas."  
  
"That's right. Ya'll make sure that he doesn't get a chance to catch his breath."  
  
Su flips off the windowsill and skips towards the door.  
  
"Ya know, ya didn't have to ask me! I'd plan on doing that anyways!"  
  
Kitsune rubs her hands together.  
  
"Alright! Just wait for the signal!"  
  
Su salutes as she closes the door.  
  
"When ya says the word 'rent' I fire! That's a ten-four foxy momma! Charlie Company is in position and ready for action!"  
  
Kitsune shakes her head.  
  
"She really is watching way too many American action movies!"  
  
Naru is helping Shinobu prepare dinner, but the young cook is not quite confident of her suggestions on how to prepare the meal.  
  
"Shinobu-chan, how about we put some more sugar in here to make the rice even sweeter?"  
  
"Aaauuuuu! You already put half a cup in there!"  
  
Naru touches her cheek.  
  
"Hmm, maybe you're right. I'll just pour in some vinegar to cancel it out a little bit!"  
  
Shinobu opens the cabinet for the third time to make sure that the stomach medicine is still there. She then turns to the stove.  
  
"Naru-sempai, I think that the sliced eggplant is starting to burn!"  
  
"That's okay, it should be crunchy, shouldn't it? Let's see, where is that box of baking soda?"  
  
"Aaauuuuu!"  
  
Naru lifts the cover off another pan and sniffs the contents.  
  
"I think that the tempura hotdogs are almost done. I'll just spread some mustard on them after they drain a bit."  
  
Motoko peeks in the door.  
  
"Do you require any assistance, Shinobu-chan?"  
  
The young girl turns and nods, but Naru continues working.  
  
"We're okay, Motoko-chan! Everything is just fine."  
  
Shinobu looks at Motoko with wide eyes and shakes her head. Motoko bows her head and whispers.  
  
"May the spirits preserve us."  
  
The sound of the front door opening is heard. Motoko turns and walks back to the foyer.  
  
"I shall see who has arrived. Was anyone expecting a guest?"  
  
Naru continues cooking for a few moments before what Motoko said registers. She quickly looks at Shinobu.  
  
"Oh my god! I forgot to tell her that Keitaro was coming! She swore to kill him if he ever came back!"  
  
"Aaauuuuu! She'll k-k-kill him?"  
  
Motoko turns the corner into the foyer and spots Keitaro as he hangs up his coat. He turns and waves at her.  
  
"Hello, Motoko-chan."  
  
"Ura-urashima!"  
  
She looks over her shoulder and then whispers to him.  
  
"Why are you here without your disguise?"  
  
"Narusegawa invited me to study with her and Mutsumi-san. I need all the help I can get if I'm ever going to make it into Toudai."  
  
Motoko nods.  
  
"That is true. I mean, it is well that you grasp a fine opportunity such as this!"  
  
Keitaro takes a few steps towards her and smiles.  
  
"I'm sorry again about this morning, and I really am grateful that you didn't tell them about my secret. If there is anything that I can do for you, just ask."  
  
She blushes as he nears her. She looks at the floor as she places her hands behind her back.  
  
"Urashima. There is one favor. . ."  
  
Naru and Shinobu burst through the dining room and run for the foyer.  
  
"Motoko-sempai! Aaauuuuu! I can't look. Has she already killed him?"  
  
"Motoko-chan! Please don't hurt him! I invited him here!"  
  
Naru rushes past her and throws her body against Keitaro to protect him from an attack. As they hit the wall, Naru's lips accidentally press against his. Motoko stares at them for a few seconds and begins to shiver.  
  
"Urashima, what are . . .? Urashima! URASHIMA!"  
  
She draws her sword and pulls Naru away, tossing her like a doll to the floor. Flames leap from her eyes as she swings, stopping just as the edge of the blade touches his throat. Keitaro tries to speak.  
  
"M-m-motoko-chan. . ."  
  
Motoko steps back and prepares her attack.  
  
"Speak not, deceiver! You vile, lecherous male! SHINMEI SCHOOL SECRET ARTS! AIR, AIR, air. . ."  
  
Motoko lowers her sword and looks at her fists clenched around the hilt. She looks up and sees an expression of utter terror on Keitaro's face. Slowly, her fingers loosen their grip and the blade falls to the floor.  
  
"Urashima, I, I am. . ."  
  
Turning quickly, she runs for the stairs as Keitaro slides to the floor.  
  
End of Chapter Four. 


	5. Raging Heart

Love Hina – I, My, Oh Dear Me! Scrambled Strawberry Eggs  
  
Fanfic by Steven Biggs  
  
Chapter Five – Raging Heart  
  
Tuesday Evening.  
  
Shinobu and Naru kneel next to Keitaro.  
  
"Urashima-san, are you okay?"  
  
"Thank goodness we got here in time Keitaro! I was sure that Motoko-chan would make good on her threat to kill you."  
  
Keitaro touches his neck as he looks at the stairs. He reaches over and picks up Motoko's sword.  
  
"I think that she'll let me live, as long as I don't get out of line. But, I was really scared for a while."  
  
They help him to his feet and walk to the common room where Naru motions for him to sit on the couch.  
  
"Dinner will be ready in about half an hour. Shinobu-chan, can you bring some tea for Keitaro while I check the rice?"  
  
"Yes, I'll be back in a minute."  
  
As Keitaro sits waiting for his tea, Kitsune makes her way down the stairs.  
  
"Oh, hello Keitaro-san. I thought I heard someone come in. What brings ya'll back to Hinata-sou?"  
  
He stands to greet her.  
  
"Hello Kitsune-san. I'm here to study with Narusegawa and Mutsumi-san."  
  
He continues, blushing as he flashes his smile.  
  
"You know, I never really apologized correctly for what happened the first day I was here. I should have said something sooner; it would have saved all of us a lot of trouble."  
  
Kitsune tilts her head as she sits next to him.  
  
("This is a little odd. I didn't expect him to be kinda sweet. I might actually feel guilty if I trick him again.")  
  
"Well, ya'll shouldn't worry yourself too much about that."  
  
"I hope your friends didn't hassle you too much for thinking I groped you."  
  
Kitsune stares at the floor for a moment.  
  
("He doesn't even hold any blame against me for that. Were we wrong about him? Is he really a nice guy? I can't trick him again; I'd hate myself if I did.")  
  
She looks up at him and blushes.  
  
"Listen, Keitaro-san. I'm really sorry about that. It wasn't fair to you, and it was one of the reasons you lost this job. I thought that ya was just another lowlife guy that was trying to weasel his way in here. I guess I was wrong to try to get ya to give me free rent."  
  
"Don't worry about it anymore, Kitsune-san."  
  
Kitsune smiles at him, then her eyes go wide.  
  
(Oh spit! Did I just say 'rent'?")  
  
They both turn their heads as they hear a noise coming from the stairs. Su peeks over the railing as her Mecha-tama flies down and banks towards Keitaro, blasters, guns and knives popping out as it opens its mouth to reveal a flame-thrower. Keitaro leaps off the couch.  
  
"What the heck is that thing?"  
  
Kitsune yells towards the stairs.  
  
"Su, shut it down! We shouldn't do this! Are ya'll listening to me?"  
  
Keitaro runs in circles around the room as the mechanical turtle tries to catch him. Kitsune kneels on the couch watching him.  
  
("Su aint gonna stop until she catches him. I'm sorry Keitaro, but I gotta do this for your own good!")  
  
She crawls to the end of the couch, unbuttons her blouse, and flashes her breasts as Keitaro runs by. Like a dear in headlights, Keitaro skids to a stop and stares at her. Blood drips from his nose as his glasses fog over, giving Su the opening she was waiting for. She presses a button on her remote control as she slides down the stair rail.  
  
"Tag! You're it!"  
  
The Mecha-Tama crashes into him and sends them both tumbling into the corner. Kitsune scrambles over to the smoking wreckage as Su hops over.  
  
"Holy spit! I think ya killed him Su!"  
  
Su pokes at Keitaro's leg with a stick.  
  
"Are ya still breathing? Wasn't that the most fun ya ever had?"  
  
Keitaro crawls out from under the mass of metal and brushes himself off.  
  
"I'm okay, I don't think that. . ."  
  
He trips and falls face-first between Kitsune's breasts.  
  
"Ahhhhh!"  
  
Kitsune blushes and starts slapping his head.  
  
"Oh my god! Get outta there ya pervert and don't you dare start drooling on my babies!"  
  
Su grabs his feet and tries to pull him lose.  
  
"He's wedged in there pretty good! Ya wants me to get the crowbar or something?"  
  
Shinobu enters the room and sees the struggle. After placing the tray on the coffee table, she runs over to help Su pull on his feet.  
  
"Aaauuuuu! Urashima-san is going to suffocate!"  
  
Like a cork out of a champagne bottle, they pull Keitaro free and send him rolling next to the front door. As it slides open, he looks up and sees two calves, knees and thighs above him. Mutsumi raises a hand to her cheek. Fortunately, for him, she remembers that she has not supposed to have met him yet.  
  
"Oh my! What an interesting welcome! Who is this young man?"  
  
Su jumps over and lands on his chest.  
  
"This is Keitaro. He was gonna be our manager, but he couldn't help peeking, as ya can see."  
  
Kitsune finishes buttoning her blouse and moves next to her.  
  
"Naru invited him over to study with ya'll."  
  
Shooing Su away, Mutsumi helps him stand and brushes some dust off his sleeve.  
  
"Oh my! So you are Urashima Keitaro the two-time ronin for Toudai! I am Otohime Mutsumi."  
  
Keitaro crashes to the floor again.  
  
"Please, don't call me that Otohime-san!"  
  
Naru pokes her head out of the dining room door and calls to them.  
  
"You're all here, good. Dinner will be ready in a few minutes. Shinobu, can you get Motoko-san? And has anyone seen Keiko-san?"  
  
Keitaro places a hand on Shinobu's shoulder.  
  
"Haruka-san told me that your manager had to go see her grandmother. I'll go get Motoko. It'll give me a chance to return her sword and apologize."  
  
"Urashima-san, are you sure you'll be safe?"  
  
He smiles as he walks to the stairs.  
  
"Well if you hear me screaming, make sure that you aren't next to the door. I'd hate to run over you on my way out!"  
  
Shinobu laughs at his light-hearted humor and follows the others into the dining room. Keitaro walks up to the third floor and turns into the hallway. He knocks on the door. There is no answer, so he slides it open a little.  
  
"Excuse me Motoko-chan, it's Keitaro. Everyone is in the dining room for supper. I want to bring your sword back too. May I come in?"  
  
"Please, enter Urashima."  
  
Keitaro moves inside and looks around. Motoko stands and walks over to retrieve her katana.  
  
"Thank you, Urashima. I, I wish to apologize for attacking you. I was, am confused and do not know what to do."  
  
"Is there anything I can do to help?"  
  
Motoko clutches her sword to her breast and turns towards the window.  
  
"I do not know how to ask, it is difficult for me to, to. . ."  
  
She turns her head and looks back over her shoulder. Keitaro's heart skips a beat. He is surprised to see her acting so timidly. He walks over, places his hands on her shoulders, and turns her to face him. Her moist eyes look into his for a moment before she closes them.  
  
"Motoko-chan, what's wrong?"  
  
"Urashima!"  
  
She presses against him and grips his shoulders. In an instant, their lips meet. Keitaro hesitates for a moment and then closes his eyes, losing himself to the exquisite sensation. Motoko shudders as he moves his arms to embrace her, causing her to moan softly. Keitaro pulls away from her slightly and she breathlessly whispers.  
  
"Please, please do not stop."  
  
Keitaro lifts one hand and strokes her silky black hair. Motoko responds by touching his ear with her fingertips. They pull each other closer, testing the boundaries of their feelings, and kiss once more. A few minutes later, Motoko leans against him and lightly kisses his neck. She can feel Keitaro smile and she leans away so that she can see his face.  
  
"Forgive me, Urashima. I should not have forced you into this."  
  
He looks into her eyes.  
  
"I was, uh, really hoping that I would be able kiss you again. Even though it was just an accident this morning, it was really nice."  
  
"Urashima. I, I think that I am falling in love with you."  
  
"I'm glad to hear you say that. I didn't know how I could admit my feelings without seeming, well, just a bit perverted. I was afraid that you'd kill me if I said that I was falling in love with you too."  
  
"Urashima, ah, Keitaro-san!"  
  
He kisses her once more, lightly, and smiles.  
  
"Should we go to dinner? They may be worried that you've killed me after this much time."  
  
She smiles at him.  
  
"Yes, that is so."  
  
They hold each other for a moment longer and then slowly step apart.  
  
In the dining room, Shinobu wrings her hands.  
  
"Aaauuuuu! Do, do you think that she really killed him this time? It's been awfully quiet!"  
  
Kitsune looks across the table at Naru.  
  
"I don't know. I'm as worried as ya'll. We should never have let him go up there alone."  
  
Naru pushes her chair back and stands up.  
  
"We'd better go make sure he's okay!"  
  
Su jumps up and raises her fist.  
  
"We're the Keitaro Rescue Squad! Bring 'im back dead or alive!"  
  
A scream pierces the air.  
  
"AAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEE!!!"  
  
Mutsumi looks at the door.  
  
"Oh my! That sounds like Urashima-san!"  
  
Su drops her fist.  
  
"I guess we're gonna need a body bag after all!"  
  
The girls rush out of the room and head upstairs.  
  
Motoko kneels next to Keitaro as he lies on the floor.  
  
"Keitaro-san! I am so sorry! I forgot that the sword was between us! Forgive me!"  
  
Keitaro, holding his foot, looks up at her.  
  
"It's not your fault, but it was just my luck that it hit my foot when it slipped."  
  
Motoko reaches over to her table and grabs a towel. She carefully wipes the blood from his foot.  
  
"Thank the spirits! It does not appear serious. I shall bring you a bandage. Please do not die while I am gone!"  
  
He smiles at her.  
  
"I think I'll live."  
  
She picks up her sword and prepares to wipe it clean.   
  
"You are still able smile so, even when I have injured you Keitaro-san. It makes me feel ashamed and gladdened at the same time."  
  
Motoko leans over and kisses his cheek before pressing his shoulder to make him lay down. She stands and turns to the door just as the other girls rush into the room. Naru places her hands to her lips as she spots the bloodied sword and towel in Motoko's hands. Shinobu sees Keitaro lying on the floor and faints. Kitsune places her hands on her head.  
  
"Holy spit! Ya killed him!"  
  
Su pokes her head around to see.  
  
"Yep! That's murder alright! Don't worry Motoko, we'll help ya out!"  
  
She pulls out a remote control and starts turning a few knobs.  
  
"Ya'll cremate the dead here in Japan, right?"  
  
Shinobu, opens her eyes and sees Keitaro sit up.  
  
"Aaauuuuu! How, how can a dead person move? He m-must be a, a, a zombie!"  
  
And she faints again.  
  
Naru looks from Keitaro to Motoko.  
  
"What happened, Motoko-chan? You didn't actually attack Keitaro, did you?"  
  
Motoko drops the towel and raises her hand.  
  
"It, it was an accident, I swear it! I did not mean to injure Keitaro-san! The sword just fell when, uh, it just slipped and struck him!"  
  
Keitaro, still holding his foot, sits up.  
  
"It really was an accident. I dropped it when I was handing it back to Motoko-chan."  
  
Naru looks at him.  
  
"You really are clumsy, aren't you?"  
  
Everyone relaxes at the realization that he will be okay. Mutsumi brings the first-aid kit into the room and helps Motoko bind his foot. Shinobu sits up and rubs her eyes.  
  
"Thank goodness he's alive!"  
  
Su shakes her head and tosses the remote control to the floor.  
  
"Maybe not for long 'cause I can't stop this stupid thing, and it's stuck in cremate mode! Ya better high-tail it Keitaro! Head for the water!"  
  
Keitaro screams as the Mecha-Tama roars into the room. The girls watch it chase him around the table three times before he scurries out the door. He heads for the stairs, trying to make it to the hot spring before the flamethrower can lock onto him. Motoko leaps for the door and follows them. Mutsumi smiles and places a hand against her cheek.  
  
"Oh my! He certainly can move fast!"  
  
Kitsune scratches her chin.  
  
"Motoko called him Keitaro-san. Maybe he's faster than we think."  
  
End of Chapter Five. 


	6. Fox and Hounds

Love Hina – I, My, Oh Dear Me! Scrambled Strawberry Eggs  
  
Fanfic by Steven Biggs  
  
Chapter Six – Fox and Hounds.  
  
Tuesday Evening.  
  
Keitaro sprints down the stairs as quickly as his injured foot allows. He jumps for the hot spring, only to be caught in mid-leap by Su's Mecha-Tama. He falls into the water and the mechanical turtle, its program completed, powers off and drops to the ground. Motoko, followed by the other girls, rushes out to the hot spring and drags him out of the water.  
  
"Urashima, are you injured?"  
  
Kitsune looks at the singed ronin and turns to Su.  
  
"That might be a bit of an understatement. No one could've survived a fireball like that. If I were ya'll I'd start looking for a good lawyer."  
  
Su kicks at a small rock and bows her head.  
  
"I just knew I shoulda not added the 'flambé' option, I just knew it!"  
  
Keitaro opens his eyes and sniffs the air.  
  
"Is someone having a barbeque?"  
  
Naru kneels next to him.  
  
"Are you okay, Keitaro?"  
  
"Uh, Narusegawa, what happened? The last thing I remember is that metal turtle chasing me."  
  
"It caught you."  
  
Shinobu leans over and wipes some of the soot from his face.  
  
"Aaauuuuu! How could anyone survive something like that? You must be indestructible!"  
  
Mutsumi nods her head.  
  
"Indeed. It seems he's very fortunate. Oh my, but he was very fast!"  
  
He sits up and then slowly gets to his feet.  
  
"I think I'm okay, thanks for being concerned about me."  
  
Su moves over and touches his arm.  
  
"I'm really sorry about that Keitaro."  
  
Keitaro looks down and smiles at her.  
  
"Well, no real harm done. But I think my sweater has had it."  
  
Naru grabs his hand and leads him into the common room.  
  
"You should rest for a while. I'll bring us some tea."  
  
She heads into the kitchen, followed by Shinobu, as the other girls sit. Mutsumi leans towards him."  
  
"Do you feel up to studying tonight? Maybe you should go lie down. You can use my room, if you like."  
  
"If nothing else happens, I think I can hold up enough to study."  
  
Naru and Shinobu return. Shinobu has the tea, but a fearful expression is on her face. Naru is carrying a plate of food for Keitaro.  
  
"Naru-sempai, maybe he shouldn't, ah, eat so soon after being in the water."  
  
Naru shakes her head.  
  
"No, I think the best thing for him is to have something nutritious to eat."  
  
Shinobu whispers.  
  
"I think so too, but shouldn't we give him something that you didn't cook?"  
  
"What was that? I couldn't hear you."  
  
"Ah, uh, nothing at all! Aaauuuuu!"  
  
Naru sets the plate on the table in front of Keitaro and hands him a spoon.  
  
"I hope you like pork-fried rice, Keitaro."  
  
He beams a smile at her as he takes the spoon.  
  
"I love pork-fried rice! Thank you!"  
  
Shinobu reaches into her apron, making sure that the stomach medicine is in her pocket. Motoko catches her motion and her eyes widen.  
  
"Urashima, maybe you should rest more before eating."  
  
"But Motoko-chan, this tastes best while it is hot."  
  
"You cannot! It, uh, it is not advisable to eat before studying! I am sure that there was an article in the news about that recently!"  
  
Keitaro ignores her and starts eating. It is not until his third spoonful that he notices the odd flavor. He pauses and looks closely at the rice. He spots some odd blue items mixed in.  
  
"Uh, what are these?"  
  
Naru claps her hands and smiles.  
  
"Blueberries! I thought some fruit mixed in the rice would go well with the milk."  
  
Author's Note: For anyone not familiar with pork-fried rice, it does NOT contain sugar, vinegar, blueberries, milk, or baking soda.  
  
Keitaro pauses and looks at his spoon. One of the blueberries pops and oozes a sickly-blue juice. Kitsune covers her mouth and runs for the stairs. Naru looks at her and then turns back to Keitaro.  
  
"Well, aren't you going to finish it? I cooked it for your visit here."  
  
He takes a deep breath and raises the spoon to his mouth once more. Su crosses herself and closes her eyes.  
  
"Ya is a brave man, Keitaro. I'm gonna miss ya."  
  
Another blueberry rolls off the spoon and slowly falls. As it hits the floor it explodes, burning a small hole in the wood. Mutsumi rolls her eyes and flops backwards in her chair.  
  
"Oh my!"  
  
Naru crosses her arms.  
  
"Well?"  
  
Keitaro lifts the plate and shovels the entire serving of rice into his mouth. Tears fall from his eyes as he chews. A trail of blue juice drips from the corner of his mouth as he forces himself to swallow. Gently, he lowers the empty plate to the table. Naru smiles approvingly and then places another plate in front of him.  
  
"Here are some tempura hotdogs! It's my own recipe. I ran out of mustard, so I used wasabe instead.  
  
Author's Note: Wasabe is a paste that is similar to horseradish, except spicier. It is either green or yellow. Green is the strongest.  
  
He looks at the burned, greasy, batter-fried wieners coated with green paste and then looks up at Motoko. Silently, his lips form a sentence.  
  
"Kill me now, please Motoko-chan."  
  
Motoko bows her head, helpless to stop Naru's culinary onslaught.  
  
"Forgive me, Urashima."  
  
As Keitaro reaches a shaking hand for one of the hotdogs, Shinobu looks back and forth between him and Naru. Unable to bear it any longer, she grabs the pitcher.  
  
"Aaauuuuu! Let me pour you some more tea!"  
  
She jams her foot against a leg of the table and falls forward. Reaching out, she dumps the pitcher on the plate of tempura.  
  
"Oh no! I'm so sorry! I spoiled all of the tempura hotdogs, Naru-sempai!"  
  
Naru quickly grabs a towel.  
  
"Maybe I can soak up the tea and save them!"  
  
Motoko launches herself out of her chair.  
  
"No, Naru-sempai! It, it would not, uh, do them justice to serve them in such a manner. Perhaps, you can try them again some other time!"  
  
Naru scowls and looks at the plate.  
  
"I guess you're right. At least there are some more in the kitchen that we can have later as a snack. You don't mind, do you Keitaro?"  
  
Naru looks around and spots Keitaro crawling towards the front door. She skips over and lifts him to his feet as she points to the stairs.  
  
"Silly, we study upstairs, not outside. Now, you go and wait for us in my room. I'll bring Mutsumi as soon as she wakes up. I'll bring the rest of the tempura hotdogs too."  
  
Motoko, who is standing next to the counter holding the telephone, interrupts Naru.  
  
"Naru-sempai, excuse me, but Haruka-san wishes to speak with her nephew."  
  
Keitaro uses the wall to brace himself and walks over to the counter. As he reaches for the phone, Motoko leans over and whispers.  
  
"Keitaro-san, this is just a ruse to save you from further gastric distress. Please, you must leave here immediately."  
  
He smiles at her and raises the receiver to his ear.  
  
"Bless you, Motoko-chan. I owe you another one."  
  
After a few seconds, Keitaro replaces the receiver and looks at Naru.  
  
"I'm, I'm really sorry Narusegawa, but something's come up and I need to talk to Haruka-san. Maybe we can study together another time."  
  
Naru walks over and pats his shoulder.  
  
"That's okay. You can come over again tomorrow, if you like."  
  
As Shinobu takes his hand to say goodbye, she slips him some pills from the stomach medicine bottle.  
  
"I hope you feel better soon, uh, Sempai!"  
  
"Thank you, Shinobu-chan. Will you be cooking tomorrow?"  
  
"Yes, I will!"  
  
He smiles and pats her head.  
  
"Then I'll be sure to be here."  
  
Keitaro waves to everyone and walks through the door. A moment later, Motoko reaches into the closet and pulls out his coat.  
  
"He forgot his coat. I shall bring it to him."  
  
She catches up to him as he reaches the steps. Turning around at the sound of her footsteps, he smiles at her.  
  
"Thanks for bringing me my coat. I guess I was in kind of a hurry."  
  
Motoko looks at him with eyes full of concern.  
  
"Are you well? To be blunt, Naru-sempai's cooking should be classified as toxic waste."  
  
"I think I'll survive. Shinobu gave me some pills that should help."  
  
She looks timidly at the trees and ground.  
  
"Keitaro-san, would you, that is, if you do not mind, I would like to . . ."  
  
Motoko looks up as he gently pulls her towards him. She closes her eyes, shivering at the touch of his kiss.  
  
On the second floor, Kitsune turns and looks out of a window on her way back from the restroom. She takes a few more steps and then leaps back to the window.  
  
"Holy spit! Motoko is kissing Keitaro-san! I was right about them, after all! Ya'll sneaky kids!"  
  
She continues watching until Keitaro walks down the steps and enters the Tea Shop. Motoko spins around a few times and then enters the inn. Kitsune rubs her chin.  
  
"Now, what mischief can I make from this?"  
  
Kitsune leans on the windowsill plotting her plans. After about fifteen minutes, she spots Keitaro leaving the Tea Shop and holding his stomach.  
  
"Holy spit! Why is Keitaro-san wearing a dress?"  
  
A second later, Haruka runs outside and pulls a wig over Keitaro's head. As he reaches the top of the steps, Kitsune ducks low and peeks through the window.  
  
"It, it's Keiko-san! But, but it's Keitaro too!"  
  
A devious grin spreads across her lips.  
  
"This is even better! Kitsune is such a bad girl! It's gonna be a bloodbath!"  
  
Rubbing her hands together, she runs to her room.  
  
"But first, sake, sake!"  
  
She pulls open a bottle and pours some of the sake on her shirt. She takes a sip and swishes it around in her mouth. She rubs her cheeks, causing them to glow cherry-red.  
  
"Ah, that should do it! Now, hee hee, let the fun begin!"  
  
Carrying the bottle, she quickly makes her way to the stairs. As she reaches the bottom, she exaggerates her steps, putting on an extraordinary act of being drunk. Naru looks over at her.  
  
"Kitsune! You're drinking too much!"  
  
Kitsune rolls her head and staggers to the common room.  
  
"Aw, whazza matter, Naru? Ya'll never letz me have any fun!"  
  
Shinobu sits up and stares at her.  
  
Aaauuuuu! This can't be good."  
  
Su leaps over, sniffs the fox, and pulls out a banana.  
  
"Whew! You're toasted! Here, bananas are good hangover food!"  
  
Motoko, still standing near the entrance, turns and looks at her with disdain.  
  
"I do not understand why you insist on drinking so much, Kitsune-san."  
  
Moving into position, Kitsune staggers next to Motoko and leans on her shoulder.  
  
"Why don't ya'll loosen ups some, shtick-waving momma? Ya aint ever gonna getz a man if ya'll stays a prude!"  
  
Mutsumi, carrying a tray of sliced watermelon, walks in from the dining room.  
  
"Oh my! Konno-san! You look like you're having fun. Can we join you?"  
  
She waves the bottle at the turtle-girl.  
  
"Sure thing, Miss Melons! There's plenty for everiesbody!"  
  
The front door slides open and Keiko walks in. Kitsune spins around and lifts her bottle.  
  
"Great timing, Miss Manager! Letz have a party!"  
  
"K-Kitsune-san! Please be careful!"  
  
"Aw, thatz so nice of you to be worried about little old me! Let me thank you really good!"  
  
Kitsune takes a few quick steps and wraps her arms around Keiko. As his blue eyes widen, she plants her lips against his. Hinata-sou becomes deathly quiet. The fox pulls away, the popping sound of their lips echoing through the inn.  
  
"Awright! That was delisciouz! Letz do it again, Keiko-kun!"  
  
Kitsune drops the bottle and grabs Keiko's cheeks. Parting his lips with her thumbs, she darts her tongue out and presses her face against his once more. Shinobu falls to the floor.  
  
"Lilacs! Aaauuuuu!"  
  
Mutsumi blushes and covers her eyes.  
  
"Oh my! That really looks like fun!"  
  
Su stares at them, the banana in her hand squeezed into mush.  
  
"Hokey cows!"  
  
Naru leaps up and points at them.  
  
"Wh-wh-what are you doing, Kitsune?"  
  
Motoko stares at the two of them.  
  
"N-no. Do not do that."  
  
Kitsune pulls away from a shocked Keiko and licks her lips.  
  
"Wow! I think that I'm gonna like being like thiz! Itz great!"  
  
She turns her head and looks at the sword master.  
  
"Ya'll wants to give it a try? I just know that your dyin' to get your lips on this stuff!"  
  
Motoko freezes at the suggestion.  
  
"But, but you do not know what, that she . . ."  
  
Kitsune drags Keiko over and pushes him against Motoko. Using her left hand she presses Motoko's head until her lips meet his. Motoko's eyes close and she slowly wraps her arms around Keiko.  
  
"There ya'll go! Enjoy yourselves!"  
  
Naru runs over and grabs Kitsune's arm.  
  
"What in the world has gotten into you, Kitsune? You're acting crazy!"  
  
Kitsune winks at Naru.  
  
"So, ya'll iz feeling all left out and lonely, huh. Momma Kitsune can fix that!"  
  
Pulling Keiko away from Motoko, she flings him into Naru. Unable to prevent it, Naru's lips meet his. Motoko slowly drops to her knees as Naru's eyes close.  
  
"Oh spirits, that was, wonderful."  
  
Kitsune pulls Keiko away and prepares to kiss him once more as someone behind her speaks.  
  
"What's going on up here?"  
  
Caught up in her plan, Kitsune does not think and swings Keiko around, pushing him towards the person.  
  
Their lips meet.  
  
The residents of Hinata-sou stare in shock.  
  
Kitsune looks up and rubs her head.  
  
"Oh spit! Now I've gone and done it!"  
  
Haruka pulls away from Keiko and touches her lips.  
  
"Oh my goodness!"  
  
Keiko falls to the floor, his blue eyes spinning and a smile on his lips.  
  
End of Chapter Six. 


	7. Dirty Laundry

Love Hina – I, My, Oh Dear Me! Scrambled Strawberry Eggs  
  
Fanfic by Steven Biggs  
  
Chapter Seven – Dirty Laundry  
  
Tuesday Night.  
  
In the kitchen, Kitsune shuffles her feet and rubs the back of her head.  
  
"I'm really sorry, Haruka-san. I was just havin' a little fun. I didn't mean any harm."  
  
Haruka, unable to voice her real concern without revealing Keiko's true identity, chooses another tack.  
  
"Until further notice, you're on the wagon. No more sake for you, young woman!"  
  
"Haruka-san! Isn't that going a little too far? It's not like I really hurt anybody!"  
  
The Tea Shop owner crosses her arms.  
  
"You heard me. You're going to stay sober until you've learned your lesson. No arguments."  
  
"But, Haruka-san!"  
  
"No buts! I am not going to let you push your luck with this new manager. She doesn't need that kind of trouble. In addition, that kind of behavior is a bad influence on poor Shinobu-chan. We don't need her hiding every time you come into the room. She's at the age where she is starting to notice boys and you go and pull a stunt like this."  
  
"Hey, it's not like I kissed a real woman. It's only Keitaro-san."  
  
Kitsune quickly covers her mouth and her eyes go wide. Haruka looks to make sure the door is closed and moves to the table. She pushes Kitsune into a chair and leans over her.  
  
"What did you say?"  
  
"N-nothing! Nothing at all! I didn't say anything!"  
  
"You said Keitaro. How long have you known?"  
  
"I don't know anything!"  
  
"Konno Mitsune-san!"  
  
Hearing her real name shakes her.  
  
"Don't talk like that! You scare me when you call me by my real name!"  
  
Haruka turns an unblinking gaze on her. The fox lowers her head.  
  
"I give. I know that Keiko-san is really your nephew in disguise. I saw him come out of the Tea Shop without his wig tonight and thought I'd play a little joke."  
  
Haruka sighs.  
  
"What do you plan to do with this information?"  
  
Kitsune swallows at the unvoiced threat.  
  
"I promise to keep it a secret. Ya'll must have some kind of reason for doing this."  
  
Haruka nods her head.  
  
"He just wants a chance to prove that a man can be as good a manager for a woman's dorm as a woman can. You girls never even gave him a fair chance before. Especially Motoko-chan."  
  
Kitsune snickers.  
  
"Oh boy, she'll sure be surprised if she finds out that our manager is really her boyfriend!"  
  
Haruka looks out the window.  
  
"Uh, I suppose that's true. But, you will keep your promise and not tell anyone. Won't you?"  
  
"Ya'll don't have to worry. I won't say a word."  
  
The fox smiles.  
  
"But it'll cost ya!"  
  
Haruka turns back to her and narrows her eyes.  
  
"What do you mean by that?"  
  
"I want you to lift the sake ban!"  
  
"Nothing doing. You still need to learn a lesson."  
  
"Do you want the residents to know that you and Keitaro-san kissed?"  
  
""I have a bottle of thirty-year old sake in my store. Will that buy your silence?"  
  
Kitsune puts her hand out.  
  
"Ya'll got yourself a deal!"  
  
Shinobu walks in the door, looking carefully behind her. Haruka turns to her.  
  
"Why are you sneaking around like that, Shinobu?"  
  
The young cook wrings her hands.  
  
"Ah, well, uh, that is, I'm going to fix dinner."  
  
Kitsune looks at her.  
  
"I thought that you and Naru already made dinner?"  
  
Shinobu nods her head.  
  
"We did, but I'm going to fix it."  
  
Haruka adjusts her cigarette holder.  
  
"What are you talking about?"  
  
Kitsune smiles and answers.  
  
"Ya ever see fried rice with blueberries?"  
  
Haruka nods her head in understanding.  
  
"Naru took charge of cooking dinner."  
  
Shinobu reaches into the bottom of the china cabinet and pulls out an old gas mask.  
  
"I thought that Sempai was going to die! And we don't have enough stomach medicine for everyone. Aaauuuuu!"  
  
She dons the mask and carefully opens the door to the kitchen. Reaching back to the cabinet, she grabs an extra cooking pan.  
  
"Aaauuuuu! I think I saw dinner move!"  
  
Kitsune throws a hand over her mouth and runs out of the room. Haruka pulls a handkerchief from her apron and, placing it over her nose, follows Shinobu into the kitchen.  
  
After replacing Naru's dishes of disaster with more palatable fair, Shinobu calls everyone to dinner and they eat without incident.  
  
Wednesday Morning  
  
Shinobu makes the rounds after breakfast to collect the day's laundry. Stopping at the manager's room, she knocks on the door. She taps her head with her fist.  
  
"Silly me! The manager went grocery shopping with Motoko-sempai this morning."  
  
She moves to the hamper and dumps the contents into her laundry basket. As she sets the hamper down, she spots a bag partially hidden behind the wastebasket. Opening it, she finds a wet bra and some pads. She stares at the round objects for a few seconds.  
  
"What are these things? Maybe they're those new shoulder pads that I heard some of the girls at school talking about. Wow, our new manager sure keeps up with the latest trends!"  
  
Curious, Shinobu opens a drawer and finds another dry pair. She lifts them up and smiles.  
  
"Maybe, I'll try these! I hope Keiko-sempai doesn't mind. I can't wait to show Su-chan!"  
  
She hurries downstairs to finish the laundry so that she can try the pads.  
  
In town, Motoko and Keiko walk back towards the inn with sacks of groceries. Motoko smiles at him occasionally as she steals glances at him.  
  
"Keitaro, now that I think about it, you make an extremely attractive woman."  
  
Keiko blushes.  
  
"Don't say that, it's embarrassing!"  
  
The sword master looks up at the sky.  
  
"I understand your need to wear a brassier to complete your disguise, but, I was wondering about something."  
  
He turns his head and looks at her.  
  
"What's that, Motoko-chan?"  
  
"Are you currently wearing male or female underpants?"  
  
He blushes again.  
  
"That's an awfully personal question!"  
  
Motoko remains silent as they continue walking. Presently, Keiko clears his throat.  
  
"I never know when someone might walk in on me, so, uh, I have to keep my wardrobe complete."  
  
Motoko smiles again and stops walking.  
  
"What do you think?"  
  
Keiko looks at her again.  
  
"What do you mean, Motoko-chan?"  
  
She points at the store next to them. Keiko's eyes widen in shock.  
  
"No! I'm, I'm not g-going in there!"  
  
Motoko tilts her head.  
  
"Come now, Keitaro. You could not have much variety in the one suitcase you came with. You should, expand your wardrobe. It may take some time until you can end this charade."  
  
"No!"  
  
She takes his hand and drags him into the store. The sign above the window reads:  
  
(Hinata Woman's Boutique and Lingerie)  
  
Forty-five minutes later, they exit the shop. Keiko, his face bright red, pulls his new sunbonnet lower to cover his face.  
  
"I feel like a real pervert now."  
  
Motoko smiles as she lifts the two new bags of clothes.  
  
"Nonsense. Silk is the mark of a true lady. And, I approve of you color choice. You indeed have a knack for picking women's clothing."  
  
"Shut up. I don't want to talk about it."  
  
"Do not pout, Keitaro. I read in one of Konno-san's magazines that a valuable quality of a man is the ability to be mindful of a woman's fashion sense."  
  
Keiko trudges along the sidewalk.  
  
"That may be so, but it isn't a woman that's gonna be wearing this stuff."  
  
Motoko thinks for a moment.  
  
"If it will make you feel better, I shall try them first so that you can see how they look on an actual female."  
  
He looks over at her.  
  
"You will? Will you try them all?"  
  
The sword master nods her head.  
  
"Yes, I will be happy to model them for you."  
  
Keiko blushes.  
  
"Even, even the t-teddy?"  
  
Motoko scowls at him.  
  
"Do not push your luck, Urashima."  
  
He hangs his head.  
  
"I, I actually bought that for you, Motoko-chan."  
  
Motoko looks forward as they continue walking.  
  
"Pervert male."  
  
Keiko turns his head and looks at her.  
  
"You're blushing, Motoko-chan."  
  
"I am not! It, it is just very warm this morning!"  
  
He smiles and pokes her arm.  
  
"Pervert kendo-girl."  
  
She takes a few steps ahead and turns to face him.  
  
"You dare call me perverted?"  
  
He smiles broadly.  
  
"Well, everyone did see you kissing me last night while I was disguised as Keiko."  
  
"That was not in the least a perverted act. I knew that you are actually a male."  
  
"Then, it doesn't bother you to kiss a man dressed as a woman?"  
  
Motoko shakes her head.  
  
"Regardless of attire, a man is still a man."  
  
"Then, prove it."  
  
Motoko blushes and smiles.  
  
"I accept your challenge, Keitaro."  
  
She reaches up and places her hands on his cheeks. Leaning forward, she kisses him.  
  
"Aaauuuuu!"  
  
Turning quickly around, Motoko spots Shinobu standing before them, hand held to her mouth. Motoko raises her hands.  
  
"This, this is not what it seems, Shinobu-chan! I, I . . ."  
  
Keiko steps next to Motoko.  
  
"I had, uh, something in my eye and Motoko-san was assisting me!"  
  
"Yes! I was just helping the manager!"  
  
Shinobu releases her breath and lowers her hands.  
  
"Thank goodness! I hate when something gets in my eye."  
  
Motoko stares at the young cook, trying to determine what is different.  
  
"Shinobu-chan, did, did something happen to you? You are, bigger."  
  
Shinobu blushes.  
  
"Well, I borrowed these shoulder pads from the manager's room. I hope that you don't mind Sempai!"  
  
Keiko stares at Shinobu's chest.  
  
"Shoulder pads?"  
  
"Yes! But, Su-chan thought they would work better like this. What do you think?"  
  
Motoko tilts her head.  
  
"Impressive. However, I believe that you are, shall we say, lopsided?"  
  
Shinobu looks down and grabs at the pads.  
  
"Aaauuuuu! I taped them to the inside of my shirt, but they must've come loose!"  
  
She turns and runs back towards Hinata-sou, still trying to hold the pads in place. Motoko sighs and looks at Keiko.  
  
"You should keep those in hiding. I dread what would happen if Naru-sempai or Konno-san had found them."  
  
Keiko wipes at his forehead.  
  
"At least she didn't find my supporter. That would be difficult to explain."  
  
As they reach the top of the steps, a rock shoots past, barely missing Keiko's head.  
  
"Where did that come from?"  
  
They look up and see Su on the top of the entryway. She waves at them.  
  
"Sorry! My bad! I'm still practicing with this neat sling that I found in your room, manager-lady! Do ya likes to hunt and stuff?"  
  
Keiko stares as Su loads another rock into the supporter.  
  
"Oh heck."  
  
End of Chapter Seven. 


	8. Did You SeeWhat Su Saw?

Love Hina – I, My, Oh Dear Me! Scrambled Strawberry Eggs

Fanfic by Steven Biggs

Chapter Eight – Did You See What Su Saw?

**Wednesday Night.**

After dinner, Keiko sits at the kotatsu table in his room. Su kneels at the other side of the table with her head bowed.

"I'm sorry Manager-lady! I promise not to sneaky peak at your stuff anymore while ya is gone. Please don'ts kick me outta Hinata-sou.!"

Keiko sighs.

"I am not planning to evict you because of this Su-chan. You are forgiven."

She looks at Keiko and smiles.

"Ya is a real sport, Manager-lady! If there's anythingy that I cans do for ya, just let me know!"

The girl from Molmol leaps to the window. With a quick wave, she disappears into the night. Keiko sighs again and prepares for bed. He places his padded bra and neck charm under the pillow in case he needs to don them quickly and then moves to the closet to change into his pajamas. As he places his under things on the shelf in the closet, Su swings back into the room.

"Hey Manager-lady! There's a question that I . . ."

Su stares at him for a few seconds and her face slowly blushes bright red. She points a finger at the manager.

"Whoa! Something new has been added! Does Motoko know about that?"

Keiko quickly pulls out a towel and wraps it around himself.

"S-s-s-s-su-chan! What are y-y-you doing here?"

Su's eyes go wide.

"Keitaro?"

He holds out a hand and shakes his head. Su leaps over and wraps her legs around his neck.

"Ya came back to play with me Keitaro! I'm the luckiest person in the world!"

Jumping back to the floor, she circles around him quickly three times and scratches her head.

"But whatcha doing dressed up all girly like with a wig and all?"

She slides to her knees in front of him and tilts her head sideways.

"Ya aint really one of 'them', is ya?"

At that moment, Motoko slides open the door.

"Urashima, I need to tell you . . ."

Keitaro's mouth drops open.

"Motoko. This isn't what it looks like!"

Su blushes again and beams at the swordmaster.

"Ya shoulda seen what I gots a really good look at!"

Motoko's eyes grow cold as Su continues.

"It kinda makes ya think of an elephant's nose!"

Keitaro kneels and places his hand over Su's mouth.

"It was an accident! I swear it was!"

"Urashima!"

The young girl from Molmol leaps onto the kotatsu table.

"Ya shoulda seen it when I mentioned your name, Motoko! The flag was flyin' high!"

Keitaro waves his hands in a desperate attempt to convince the swordmaster of his innocence.

"It wasn't like that at all, Motoko-chan! You got to believe me!"

His towel chooses that moment to fall to the floor. Motoko looks downwards. Su stands up straight, whistles, and salutes.

"Right back at ya, sailor!"

Keitaro whimpers.

"Oh no!"

Enveloped in rage, Motoko's hair lifts as she summons her chi. The air inside the room begins to swirl about and flames leap from her eyes. The swordmaster rises a meter into the air and begins her chant.

"Unfaithful deceiver! Shinmei-ryo no Messatsu Zanku Zanmasen! GOD'S CRY ATTACK OF THE DEMON SLASHING WIND!"

The roar is deafening as the power from her blade hurls outwards. Su dives for cover under the table as Keitaro's desk is lifted and thrown towards the far end of the room. Clothing, floor mats, Keitaro, a futon, and various other items spin in a wild maelstrom lit with bluish tendrils of Motoko's chi. The manager succeeds in grasping a rafter for a moment and the vortex pulls his wig off. Loosing his grip, he spins wildly until his body crashes into and through the far wall.

After the blast subsides, Su looks out from her hiding place.

"Whoa! I didn't know thatcha had it in ya, stick waving momma! Ya punched a hole clear through the whole side of the inn!"

She looks up at Motoko.

"Why'd ya hit him for? I thought that ya was getting along with our new Manager-lady, uh, I mean Keitaro."

Motoko lightly settles back to the floor, sighs, and opens her eyes. They widen as she observes the destruction her ultimate technique caused.

"Spirits! I, I did not mean to use such force! What is it that I have done?"

She leaps over the debris and stands before the ragged opening in the wall of Keitaro's room.

"Keitaro, are you there? Can you hear me?"

A few walls down, Shinobu peaks through the hole in her room's wall.

"Aaauuuuu! What happened?"

Scanning the hole with her eyes, she spots something and picks it up.

"What's this? It looks like the manager's hair."

The young cook immediately drops it and faints.

"Y-y-y-you scalped her! Aaauuuuu!"

Motoko, followed closely by Su, climbs through all of the holes until they reach the outside wall of the inn. They look down to the ground and see a pile of broken boards, lamps, clothes and other articles. Su points to an object partially buried at the left side of the mound.

"I think I sees him! Come out come out wherevers ya is!"

Keitaro is lying on his side with his back to the inn. Su leaps down, hops over him, and kneels to the ground. She moves a board off of him and stares. A smile crosses her lips as she reaches down and lifts a firm, slightly curved object that is about twenty centimeters long over her head.

"Hey, Motoko! Looky what I found!"

The swordmaster stares for a moment and then faints.

"Spirits no!"

Su shrugs and then peels the banana.

"She must still be full from dinner! These sure is good eating! Bananas made me what I am today!"

After a few minutes, Motoko recovers and they carry the manager up to the swordmaster's room. Su watches as she wraps him in a robe and places his wig and charm back on. She stares intently at the young inventor.

"You must not speak of this to anyone, Su. It is of the utmost importance that Urashims's identity remain a secret. Do you understand?"

Su tilts her head.

"What's the big deal? That's only Keitaro. He can play with me again!"

Flames leap from Motoko's eyes. With a skittering sound, she crawls over to Su and whispers in her ear.

"If you say even just one word to any living soul, I shall inform Naru-sempai of what you did with her Liddo-kun doll last month!"

Sweat pours from Su's temples.

"Absitively I won't say anything to somebody! Not a word! I swears it! Cross my heart and I swears it on girl scout cookies honor! Ya betcha!"

Su sits back on her heels and smiles.

"So, what was it like? Did it taste like lemon? Was it soft like a marshmallow?"

"Su, what in the world are you talking about?"

"Ya's kiss with Keitaro."

Motoko touches her left cheek with two fingers.

"Hmm, it was like firm tofu and maybe a little salty. Also, it . . . SU!"

The young girl has her lips planted firmly against Keiko's. As Motoko pulls her away, there is a sucking and popping sound.

"Su, what in the name of the spirits are you doing?"

She runs her tongue across her lips a few times and tilts her head.

"Kinda strawberry-ish, I thinks! It must be the lipstick! Ya has gots to try it!"

Su grabs Motoko's head and pushes her against Keiko, forcing their lips together. The swordmaster's eyes glaze over and slowly close. Su grins and leaps out the window.

"I bet that would go good with a banana! I'll be back in a jiffy pop!"

At that moment, the door to her room slides open. Naru, Kitsune and Mutsumi, holding shopping bags, step inside. Naru waves her hand.

"Motoko-san! What happened to the walls? Did you . . ."

Kitsune rubs her chin and grins like a maniac.

"I've just gotta get me some of that action!"

Mutsumi claps her hands together.

"Oh my, that looks really fun! Can we join you?"

Naru drops her jaw and bags.

"M-m-m-motoko-san! Wh-wh-what are you . . Why are y-y-you . . . When d-d-did you . . . ?"

She leaps over and roughly pulls her off Keiko.

"Get your lips off of Keitaro!"

A few minutes later, the women sit in the common room. Motoko leans forward.

"Naru-sempai, how long have you known that it was Urashima?"

Naru sips some tea and looks at the stairs.

"I knew it was him from the first. That was such a lousy disguise. And besides, do you remember that dress he wore the first day he came here as Keiko? Well, it was an old one of mine."

She looks back to Motoko and scowls.

"It really pisses me off that he looks better in it then I did."

Naru sets her glass down and folds her arms.

"Don't tell me that all of you were fooled by that stupid costume!"

Mutsumi smiles and raises her hand.

"I knew he wasn't a woman."

Naru shakes her head.

"You don't count."

Motoko blushes.

"I admit that it fooled me for about a day."

Kitsune gulps down a shot of sake.

"It took me a little longer. What about you, Su?"

"I just got the show a little whiles ago."

Motoko looks around.

"Where is Maehara-san"

"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEKKK!!!"

They rush upstairs to Motoko's room. Shinobu is standing on top of the kotatsu table and holding her hands to her mouth. Naru rushes over.

"Shinobu, what's wrong?"

"I, I came up here when I woke up since the manager wasn't in her room. I found her sleeping here and, and . . ."

Kitsune places a hand on the young cook's shoulder.

"And what?"

"Well, something was making her robe, p-poke up. I opened it to see if sh-she was okay and, and . . . Aaauuuuu! She really is one of those!"

Su jumps over and tugs at Shinobu's shirt.

"Don't it make ya wanna go to the circus? Elephants on parade are neat!"

"But, but, but . . ."

Naru sighs.

"Don't worry Shinobu-chan. There isn't anything wrong with her. That's really Keitaro."

Too quickly to even utter a sound. Shinobu faints.

Motoko lifts the girl and motions to the door, heading back to the common room. After a few seconds, Naru returns and drags Kitsune away from Keitaro's sleeping form.

"Stop peeking, Kitsune! Who do you think you are, Keitaro?"

Back in the common room, they waken Shinobu and discuss the revelations of the evening. Motoko bows her head.

"Will he be forced to leave once more? I promised him that he could count on my support and it would be most sad to see Keitaro fail after the effort he went through to prove himself."

Kitsune smiles like a cat.

"He aint failed yet! But, we can't let an opportunity like this slip past us. Motoko, ya'll has got to agree with this plan or Keitaro is outta here."

The swordmaster nods her head.

"I will defer to anything that you suggest Konno-san, as long as you will allow him to remain. What is your plan?"

Kitsune leans back on the couch and crosses one leg over the other as she swirls her sake glass.

"Ya'll are gonna love this! Kitsune is such a bad girl!"

End of Chapter Eight.


End file.
